So, You Think You’re Punny

• A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

• Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

• A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer for me please, and one for the road.”

• An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

• Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

• I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

• I went to a seafood disco last week . . . and pulled a mussel.

• What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

• Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

• A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

• Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.


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