You need a doctor

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You Need a Doctor

 

You Need a Doctor

I recently heard an interesting perspective from one of our partners that really struck a chord with me. He told me that if you get hurt or have a challenge that many times people will try to fix it themselves. This works for things like cuts and scrapes, but when it comes to key challenges like a broken leg or torn muscle, a band-aid won’t fix your problem. The pain will continue and in many cases get worse. That’s when you need to consult a specialist or a doctor. They are experts in their field and know what to do to get you healthy. It’s where they are focused and they can help you get back on track quickly.

To really grow and be effective you need a specialist that can help guide you.

The same is true for marketing. It’s an area in your business that you can do yourself but that will only get you to a certain point. To really grow and be effective you need a specialist that can help guide you. We all know that marketing is important, but many times it’s given band-aid status. Don’t let this happen to your business. Look for marketing experts that are focused in their field. Look for companies that have invested in their business to help your business grow. Even, if your marketing plan isn’t broken.

The Count Down Is On!

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The Count Down is on!  And no it’s not the count down for the NBA Season or even Christmas.  It’s the countdown to Black Friday.  I’m sure you have already seen the news articles and reports talking about stores opening earlier than ever but what does this mean for you?  It means there is a very important change in consumer buying behavior that is about to happen.  Customers go from being shoppers to buyers and competition for their attention will be greater than ever.  That means that now is the time to start planning how you will get your message to your potential customers.  Just being open is not enough.  You still have time to put together a plan but don’t blink because it will be here before you know it.  Get started today.

The Perfect Tree

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The Perfect Tree

Searching through row upon row of Christmas trees, my wife Leslie and I picked one we liked. Then I noticed the one being held by a woman nearby “the” perfect tree. I watched as she carried it around the lot and couldn’t believe my eyes when she set it aside.

I ditched ours and ran over to grab the coveted tree. “Aren’t we lucky?” I said to Leslie. “I do feel a little guilty, though, for taking it before she could change her mind.”

“Don’t worry,” she replied. “She just ran over and snatched ours.”

Christmas Wish

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco.  The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, “Well, where did you get Him, my little friend?”

The little boy replied, “I got him from the church.”

“And why did you take him?”

The boy said, “Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it.

Confession

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Confession

Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?”

“Certainly not,” said the Priest. “As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it.”

“I tried,” Brian sobbed, “but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?”

“If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family.”

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.

Twenty Dollars

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Twenty Dollars

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked. “Who would like this $20 bill?”

Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you – but first, let me do this.”

He proceeded to crumple the $20 dollar note up. He then asked. “Who still wants it?” Still the hands were up in the air.

“Well,” he replied, “what if I do this?” He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. “Now, who still wants it?”

Still the hands went into the air.

“My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or who we know, but by …WHO
WE ARE.

You are special – don’t ever forget it.”

Mom’s Sign

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Mom’s Sign

Here is a little sign mom might want to print out and hang up on the bathroom door.

Attention Children: The Bathroom Door is Closed.

Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions.  Wait until I get out.

Yes, it is locked.  I want it that way.  It is not broken, I am not trapped. I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in here, but it’s been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY.

Do not ask me how long I will be.  I will come out when I am done.

Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.

Do not go running back to the phone yelling, “She’s in the BATHROOM!”

Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.

Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them.  This was funny when you were two, but not now.

Do not slide pennies, Legos, or notes under the door.  Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.

If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room.  I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.

And yes, I still love you.

(signed)
Mom

A Lecture on Mental Health

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and  forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, “He’s probably a basketball coach?”

How’s Your Golf Game

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How’s Your Golf Game

“How was your golf game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.

“Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went.”

“But you’re seventy-five years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?”

“But he’s eighty-five and doesn’t even play golf anymore,” protested Jack.

“But he’s got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball,” Tracy pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway.

“Do you see it?” asked Jack.

“Yup,” Scott answered.

“Well, where is it?” yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.

“I forgot.”

Hot Shot!

Bill and Jeff, longtime golfing buddies, were involved in a match-play contest with the score “all-square” at the 18th tee.

Bill slices his tee shot way left, and the ball finally stops on the cart path. Meanwhile, Jeff smashes his first shot straight down the middle.

“Oh well,” says Bill, “I should get a free drop from there.”

“Heck no,” says Jeff, “We play the ball as it lies.”

And so Bill did.

After dropping his opponent on the middle of the fairway, Bill took the golf cart to his lie on the concrete path. Sparks fly from the cart path, as Bill makes a few aggressive practice swings.

Finally, Bill hits the ball off the cart path, leaving a miraculous shot only 3 feet from the pin.

As the two meet in the fairway, Jeff comments, “That was a great shot…what club did you use?”

“Your 6 iron,” says Bill.

Buying the Truck

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Buying the Truck

A wise old farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a certain price.  After telling the salesman which truck he wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork.  The salesman handed the farmer the bill, and the farmer declared, “This isn’t the price I saw!”

The salesman went on to tell the wise old farmer how he was getting extras such as power brakes, power windows, special tires etc.  and that was what took the price up.  The farmer need the truck badly, paid the price and went home.

A few months later, the salesman called up the farmer and said, “My son is in 4-H and he needs a cow for a project.  Do you have any for sale?”

The farmer said, “Yes, I have a few cows, and I would sell for $500.00 apiece.  Come look at them and take your pick.”

The salesman said he and his son would be right out.  After spending a few hours in the field checking out all the farmer’s cows, the two decided on one and the salesman proceeded to write out a check for $500.00.

The farmer said——–“Now, wait a minute, that’s not the final price of the cow.  You’re getting extras with it and you have to pay for that too.”

“What extras?” asked the salesman.

Below is the list the farmer gave the salesman for the final price of the cow……….

  1. BASIC COW…………………………$500.00
  2. Two tone exterior…………………..$45.00
  3. Extra stomach………………………$75.00
  4. Product storing equipment……………$60.00
  5. Straw compartment………………….$120.00
  6. 4 Spigots @$10 ea…………………..$40.00
  7. Leather upholstery…………………$125.00
  8. Dual horns…………………………$45.00
  9. Automatic fly swatter……………….$38.00
  10. Fertilizer attachment………………$185.00

GRAND TOTAL………………………$1,233.00

Cheap Gas?

When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn’t remember.

“You probably got the cheaper gas,” he said. “That could account for the engine running so rough.”

“No, the gas wasn’t cheaper!” she replied indignantly.

“Well, how much did it cost?” asked the husband.

“It cost the same as always,” said the wife. “I bought the usual ten dollars worth.”

A Touching Story

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A Touching Story

A few years ago at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100 yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win.

All, that is, except one boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy. They slowed down and looked back. They all turned around and went back. Every one of them.

One girl with Down’s Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said,”This will make it better.” All nine linked arms and walked across the finish line together. Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes.

People who were there are still telling the story. Why? Because deep down we know one thing. What matters most in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What truly matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course.

 

PARISHONERS VISIT

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Parishioners Visit

A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote “Revelation 3:20” on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10.”

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.” Genesis 3:10 reads, “I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked.”

600 Stories

Tom, James and Larry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.The second 200 stories James will tell a happy story and lastly Larry will tell a sad story. They then started up the stepsAfter 2 hours it was Larry’s turn. He turned to the other two and said “OK guys, here’s my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs.